Phoenix Rising Outtakes
by SandraDeee
Summary: Outtakes/expanded chapters of a more sensual nature from Phoenix Rising are posted here. Just added: Audrey and Nathan reconnect after a day of turmoil.
1. Chapter 1

This is where I will house uncensored chapters of a sensual nature from the story _Phoenix Rising_.

The first part here is an expanded version of chapter 28 from _Phoenix Rising_. If you haven't read that story, many of the events will not make sense. However, I doubt you need to have read _PR_ in order to understand the rather, ahem, intimate scenes between Audrey and Nathan that occur later in the chapter. Folks, this one's rated M for a reason.

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: "Written in the Scars"**

The sunlight's glint off the storefront window almost made Garland miss the painting. In retrospect, he wished he had, but it captured him nonetheless, pulling him in like the Siren's call. Beautiful. Deadly. Inescapable.

Cerulean and cobalt swirled in waves on its canvas bleeding into the black depths of the ocean. Eyes shone from those waves. Ice blue. Clear. The only thing clear on the whole damn canvas.

And just like that, he remembered the day on the beach, the day she'd painted it. The challenge in her voice, the amusement. The wind caught her hat that day, carrying the covering down the beach as it simultaneously whipped her long dark hair about her face. She'd laughed huskily and spoken in half answers, keeping a secret only she knew existed, a secret that begged to be discovered.

For twenty-seven years, he'd tried to put her out of his mind. He'd kept busy. Raised a son who resented him. Poured himself into his job. Went fishing to think about nothing and instead thought about everything.

And she'd returned.

Middle-of-nowhere Ohio was where she'd been left. She was supposed to be safe. _But no_. It was as though she held an invisible dowsing rod that led her straight to Haven. Maybe it was the same compulsion Ephraim Brand had.

And just like that, the Troubles returned, too.

Nothing he'd done broke the cycle. Just an exercise in futility and he was back to where he'd begun: looking at that damn painting, smelling the damn sea air, and hating himself for caring so damn much.

Some part of him knew that afternoon on the beach that she was trouble.

Lucy wasn't particularly subtle. Garland snorted. Neither was Audrey, for that matter. Like a bull in a china shop, as the old adage goes.

Garland turned to walk away but caught his own reflection in the store window. Ice blue eyes stared back at him. Eyes in a sea of chaos.

Walk away. Walk away.

Instead, he found himself walking into the store, as though bound by an unseen chain being wound tightly, pulling him in, pulling him under, drowning him.

Drowning. _Like Holly._

_Holly._ The love of his life. He had prized her and then taken his eyes off the prize. He'd been foolish as a young man, a young husband, a young father. The way he figured it, time hadn't improved him much, not if he kept tying himself to her, to Lucy.

"Good afternoon, Chief."

"Terry."

"Something I can help you with?"

"The painting in your window. I'd like to buy it."

The gray haired, bespectacled shopkeeper grimaced apologetically. "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't sell it to you. The gentleman over there just purchased it. I was about to retrieve it from the display and package it for him."

Garland looked toward the man whose back was to him, admiring other art pieces on display along the wall. As though sensing Garland's gaze on him, the other man turned around and tilted his chin in acknowledgement.

Brand.

_Keep it together. Keep it together._

"A lovely piece, is it not?"

The chief ignored the other man's sentiment, nodded his head to Terry, and exited the shop.

But Brand pursued him.

"You're aware of the artist?"

Garland froze in his tracks.

"Of course, you are. Tell me something, Chief Wuornos. Why does no one speak of Lucy around here?"

"I think you know why," Garland replied through gritted teeth.

"How could I possibly? The last time I was in town…"

Garland spun around to face the other man. "You looked exactly as you do now." Brand opened his mouth to protest, but Garland shut him down. "Don't. Didn't like you back then. Can't say time's improved my opinion of you any."

"It's a shame, really. All these years later, and still, she pulls at you."

"She's been gone a lot of years. Makes no difference to me." Lies. Unconvincing ones at that.

"But she's not really gone, now is she? I think we both know Audrey _is_ Lucy."

Garland remained silent.

"No protestations? You defy expectation. What _is_ it like for you? You lost your wife. Lost Lucy. And now you watch Audrey with your son, and she's oblivious to your lingering regrets. And she and your son—" Brand broke off, his amusement uncontained, "they orbit one another, their circles growing smaller and smaller until the inevitable collision. She'll destroy him. It is her nature."

"Not her nature. Your nature."

"Actually, I think it _is _yours. Perhaps that is why you and Lucy were so… companionable. What would Nathan think?"

"You leave him out of this."

"I'm afraid _that _is veritably impossible. Their lives have been entwined far longer than either realizes." He paused for effect. "Yet."

"Why are you here? And don't give me a bullshit answer about a family legacy when we both know it's a fabrication."

"It's in my blood."

"You bring the Troubles with you."

"Don't be absurd."

"See, I'm willing to bet that when you leave, you'll take the Troubles with you."

Brand blinked in put-on confusion. "But why would I ever want to leave?"

Garland felt his control slip, the pressure building inside. Tightness. Straining. A superficial crack formed along sidewalk, inching its way toward Brand, who merely looked down at the fissure and smiled.

The crack stopped in its tracks.

* * *

"So where is everyone?" Audrey asked. As she recalled, the girls' home always bustled with activity, but the relative calm and quiet that had settled over the premises gave the stone house an eerie feel.

Sister Frances replied, "Sister Agatha and Sister Lucia have taken some of the girls to perform a service project at a local nursing home. One of our girls is ill, so I stayed behind to tend to her needs."

"Sister Agatha," Audrey spoke the old nun's name with an air of nostalgia. "How is she?"

Sister Frances considered Audrey's question before replying with a measured, "She seems to be well in body and spirit both."

Along the hallway, group photos hung. Nathan stopped when he came to one from the late 90s. From it, a young Audrey peered out. She wasn't smiling, exactly, not the brilliant smile he'd seen her flash on occasion, but she didn't look miserable either. She wore a crisp white blouse and a skirt, as did all the girls in the photo. Her blond hair was longer, from his estimation, and pulled up into a ponytail that draped well past her shoulder.

"It's you."

Sister Frances looked at the photo and then to Audrey. "I've passed by these pictures so many times, I should have recognized you from there."

"I'm just glad I was here," Audrey acknowledged.

"Yes, this home provides an invaluable service to our girls. It is my privilege to be here, to help facilitate its continued operation."

But as Nathan focused on Audrey, he knew the nun had misinterpreted Audrey's words. It was relief he saw on her face, not gratitude. Some part of her must have feared she hadn't been here, that her life as Audrey Parker had been nothing but a lie, a false memory.

But it made no sense for Lucy to have been a grown woman and—what—? Become younger? Then again, Sally Harrington seemed to have grown younger overnight, and it all went back to Brand. Having been married to him, Lucy had the strongest connection of all to Brand. As much as Nathan hated the thought, perhaps the answers lay with him, after all.

"Let's sit for a spell," Sister Frances suggested. "May I offer you some water?"

"No, thank you." Audrey replied. Nathan merely shook his head.

Sister Frances sat on a wooden chair in what Audrey remembered as the common room. She and Nathan sat on a sofa perpendicular to the chair, though neither relaxed fully.

"So Ms. Parker, you've been gone ten years. Why come back now?"

"Please call me Audrey."

"Very well. Audrey."

"I've been trying to put together the pieces of my past."

The nun's weathered face showed her surprise in the form of her eyes widening. "I'm not sure what assistance we can offer. You should already know everything we know. When you left, did you not receive your information?"

"No, and I'd really like to see my records, how I came to be here, why I was never adopted out."

"As you know, with older children, it is sometimes difficult to place them in forever homes."

Audrey clarified, "I was an infant." _Supposedly._

That information seemed to take the nun aback, but she made no comment to that effect. "Ten years ago you left? That means you would've been born in 1982? 1983?"

"83."

Sister Frances thought for a moment. "Those records will not be easy to come by. We moved some things around a couple of years ago, the older records mostly. I'll be happy to search for them, but it may take some time to locate what you need."

"We've come a really long way," Nathan interjected. "If there's any way you could expedite the search for them…"

"I'll see what I can find, but it may be best for you to come back in the morning, say 9:30. Is that manageable?"

Audrey nodded. "Yes, thank you. Let me leave you my number in case you need to reach me before then." She retrieved a card from the small purse she carried and passed it to the sister.

* * *

Nathan's boots crunched in the gravel of the driveway outside the house. "Sister Frances seemed pretty helpful."

His hand went to the small of Audrey's back. Though he spoke casually, her stomach was doing somersaults at his touch. Such a simple gesture and already she wanted to melt into him. "Yeah, she did," she agreed, the calmness of her voice belying the tumult she felt inside. "I'm glad you're here with me."

Just one sentence, six small words, but his actions weren't small.

"Wouldn't be anywhere else."

And Audrey knew he meant it. "We still haven't made it past Sister Agatha, though."

"You're worried she won't let Sister Frances share your information?"

"Not just that but that maybe they've flagged my file or something. Maybe Sister Frances herself will find a reason not to share it with me. I just—I wonder what's in there. Could it help to explain how it's possible for me to have been Lucy? Of course, at this point, I'd settle for just knowing how I got here."

"Do you see that?" Nathan asked, his volume dropping.

"See what?"

"There's movement inside the rental car."

"You think someone's in there?" Audrey asked.

"Yep."

The two approached the car, Nathan moving to the driver's side and Audrey to the passenger's side, covering the doors on both side of the vehicle. Sure enough, crouched in the back was a teenage girl. Though her heavily applied eyeliner gave her a passing resemblance to a raccoon, she would have managed to be quite pretty if not for the scowl on her face.

"What's your name?" Nathan asked after opening the door.

And immediately, the scowl dissipated, replaced by a swaggering smile. "Anything you want it to be," the girl replied, the sultry intonation unmistakable.

A teenage Lolita. Great. This was the type of trouble Audrey could do without. "Answer the question," she ordered.

The girl glared at Audrey. "Teddy. Well, Theodora."

"I can see why you go by Teddy," Audrey replied drily.

Nathan shot a glance at Audrey before returning his attention to the teen.

"Teddy, do you live here?" Audrey asked.

"Wow. Are you a detective or something?" The girl's tone was over-the-top sarcastic.

Patience. Patience. Patience. "Actually, I am. My name is Audrey. This is Nathan."

Teddy's gaze immediately went to Nathan. "Hi Nathan."

Nathan folded his arms across his chest. "You do know it's not a good idea to get into strangers' cars."

"We're not strangers anymore. Besides," her eyes swept over him from top to bottom, "you can drive me around anytime."

_Creepy inappropriate_. "Okay. That's it. Out of the car," Audrey commanded.

Teddy's chin jutted in defiance. "You're _not_ the boss of me."

Audrey halfway snorted. "Do you want Sister Agatha to put you on kitchen duty?"

The girl's eyes narrowed as she considered Audrey's question. "The car's a rental, so you aren't from here. How do you know Sister Agatha?"

Smart kid, poor choices. Audrey had seen that more than enough times. "I lived here. Off and on—mostly on—for eighteen years."

Teddy grimaced. "That blows."

"It wouldn't have been my first choice," Audrey admitted. "But I am grateful."

Teddy crossed her arms sullenly. "Seriously? You're going to give me the 'be grateful' b.s.?"

"No, I'm not. Where are you trying to go?"

The girl's eyes focused downward on her hands. She was picking at the skin next to her thumbnail. "Away. Just…away."

"Why don't you come out of there so we can talk?" Audrey suggested.

"We're talking now," Teddy pointed out.

"Fine. Then I'm coming in."

"Your reverse psychology isn't going to work with me."

"Please. Last thing I am is someone's counselor." Audrey slid into the seat next to the girl who rolled her eyes before eyeing the blonde closely.

"Do you have any kids?"

"No."

"Do you want one?" Teddy asked, only half joking.

"I live in a one-room apartment. I don't really do the domestic thing."

"You don't live with him?" Teddy asked, pointing her thumb in Nathan's direction.

"No."

"Oh. Never mind then."

"I'm just going to …" Nathan pointed toward the house. "Yeah."

_Unbelievable_. The man who would take a bullet and not even blink wouldn't take on a teenage girl. Oh, he was so getting razzed later. "You do know he's too old for you," Audrey stated, not waiting for Nathan to be out of earshot.

"Now maybe, but in a couple of years, he won't be."

And Nathan began to walk more quickly.

"Yes," Audrey laughed, "he will. So what's the deal? Why are you trying to take off?"

"What do you care?"

"I've been there. Remember?"

Teddy rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. "I have a little brother I hardly ever get to see."

All bark, very little bite.

"Where is he?" Audrey asked.

"He lives with a family in town."

"But you're here," Audrey replied, more so to herself than anyone.

With exaggerated awe, Teddy replied, "Gee, miss, no wonder you're a detective."

Audrey cringed. "God, do I sound that obnoxious when I'm sarcastic?"

"Look, you were the one stating the obvious. Sarcasm is perfectly reasonable under those circumstances. You were totally asking for it."

She made a point, but Audrey wasn't about to concede that to the kid. "I was thinking aloud. There's a difference. Will you tell me about him?"

Teddy met Audrey's eyes and held her gaze, her own resolve wavering. Finally, she took a deep breath and began to unload on the stranger. "His name is Sam. I'd do anything for him. Actually, I tried. It wasn't enough."

"What happened?" Audrey gently prodded.

Teddy willed the tears that were beginning to sting her eyes to go away. What was she thinking anyway? Talking about this with the blonde? What good did talking ever do anyway? "Seriously, why do you care?"

"Because I know what's it's like to grow up without your family with you. I know what it's like to wonder where they are, what they're doing…"

And damn if Teddy didn't believe the woman. "Our dad took off before Sammy was born. It was tough, but my mom held us together. She worked two jobs. I kept Sammy after school. Fed him. Played with him. Got him ready for bed. I even taught him to read. He's such a smart boy."

"What changed?"

"Mom didn't come home one day. She called, said she was going away for a few days to clear her head. A few days turned into a few weeks and now who knows? I waited, tried to carry on as usual, and we managed for a few weeks. I got Sammy ready for school, made sure he got there, picked him up after, helped him with homework, made him dinner, and tried to come up with a good excuse for why Mom wasn't there."

"You must've been exhausted."

Teddy shrugged. "I could've kept it up, but I got in trouble for truancy when Sam had the flu. And when the truancy officer showed up at our apartment and there was no sign of our mom, that set everything in motion."

"I'm sorry."

"He's being fostered with some rich family, and I'm—well, you see where I am."

"Getting in trouble isn't going to help him any."

"I can't let Sam think that I've left him, too."

"Teddy, I'm sure he doesn't."

The girl looked away in disgust. "You don't understand. Up until they took him from me, we had never spent a night apart."

"Have you heard from your mom?"

Teddy shook her head. "I think she's gotten mixed up in some stuff. I don't know where she is."

"What can you tell me about the family Sam is staying with?"

* * *

Sister Frances's face blanched as she looked out the window of the orphanage toward the parked car. "I thought she was upstairs, sick in bed! This is the last straw!"

Nathan held out his hand to halt the nun. "Give 'em a few minutes. Let 'em talk. Audrey has a way of helping people."

"That girl. I just don't know what we're going to do with her. She's defiant. She lies more easily than she tells the truth."

"I think she's scared."

"But she has everything she could possibly need here."

"Does she?" Nathan asked.

Sister Frances opened her mouth to respond, thought better of it, and closed it again. All she could do was walk out onto the porch and wait.

* * *

A few minutes later, Audrey and Teddy walked toward the porch of the stone house where Nathan and Sister Frances stood.

When Teddy reached the nun, she said, "I would like to apologize to you, Sister Frances. I pretended to be sick and then I tried to sneak away."

"Child, your actions are serious." Sister Frances was firm but not harsh, Audrey noted. Underlying her words, she could see the genuine concern in the nun's eyes coupled with weariness.

"I know, and I'm willing to accept the consequences of my actions."

Sister Frances was positively dumbfounded. She had been gearing herself up for a battle of wills with the teen, but Teddy's deference eliminated some of her earlier indignation.

"We will discuss this further, but I do accept your apology, Theodora."

Teddy looked to Audrey. "You'll try?"

"I'll do my best," Audrey promised.

"Thank you." Without another word, Teddy rushed toward Audrey and threw her arms around her.

Audrey patted the girl's back. "Don't thank me just yet."

Nathan looked at Audrey quizzically. What had she promised?

"You were good with her," Nathan commented after Sister Frances and Teddy went inside.

Audrey shoved her hands in the pocket of her corduroy jacket. "Eh, I don't do the kid thing very well."

* * *

"You could've fooled me."

Audrey's eyes scanned the field as they walked to the car. In the air, she caught a whiff of cow patty, and the years melted away. She was sixteen again, daydreaming while finishing chores. "It's hard to be her age. All the other girls have their moms to show them the way. Teddy was trying to be a mom to her little brother, and now they're separated."

"Parker?"

"Hmmm?"

"You're kind of incredible." He brought up his hand to caress her cheek lightly and she leaned into the touch, wanting to be closer to him. Without another word, he leaned in and brushed his nose against her cheek, following the path his fingertips had taken. Their noses bumped affectionately and their eyes slipped closed, as they reveled in their proximity.

"Nathan," she murmured before he brushed her lips lightly, their breaths mingling for a moment. Her world was off-kilter, a haze of gratification and anticipation. She wanted the moment to last—uncomplicated, beautiful. They were just a man and a woman. Nathan. Audrey. No identity crisis. No Troubles sucking the oxygen from around them. Just a kiss between them, just hope. Love.

She loved him.

She was in love with him.

It snuck up on her, picking up its intensity like the whispering fall wind around them.

Audrey's hand came up and caressed the back of his neck gently, making his entire body shudder in response. He pressed closer, his hands on her hips and her back against the passenger door.

With a sigh, he broke the kiss and leaned down, his forehead against hers. "Can't get over it. It's nice to be able to do this in public."

"It's nice to do this, in general," she replied, her hands against his chest.

He backed off slightly, realizing their location. While they weren't in Haven enduring the watchful eyes of just about everyone there, it was almost certainly uncouth to make out in the driveway of a Catholic orphanage.

"You're making this hard. Difficult," he amended.

"Good."

With a half-smile, Nathan succumbed to one last kiss before he reached for the latch next to Audrey and opened the car door for her. "So what did you promise Teddy to try to do?"

Audrey looked at him sideways, a glint in her eye. "Are you hungry at all?"

"I suppose I could eat. Keep my strength up."

"Which you're _so_ going to need later."

At that, Nathan's brows shot up and Audrey grinned wickedly.

"What does this have to do with Teddy?"

"You'll see."

A few minutes later, the duo walked into Pies and Pints. The rustic, old-world charm of the restaurant struck Nathan as antithetical to middle-of-America Ohio. Indeed, it seemed like it had been plucked from a Mediterranean island, with its stucco walls, fresco paintings, carved furniture, and red-tiled roof.

"This place hasn't changed much," Audrey noted.

"Did you come here often?"

"You could say that. I waitressed here in high school."

Add that to the list of things Nathan discovered about Audrey on this trip. For some reason, he couldn't quite picture the actual waitressing part, though he could imagine her fumbling attempts at making small talk with customers.

God help the customer who crossed the line with her.

A hostess wearing a peasant blouse and black skirt greeted them. "Welcome to Pies and Pints. How many are in your party tonight?"

"Two," Nathan replied.

"Right this way, please."

The young hostess showed Nathan and Audrey to a booth. "Is this all right?" she asked.

"It's fine," Audrey replied, her eyes darting over the dining room.

The hostess set down two menus. "Your server will be here in just a moment."

"You looking for someone?" Nathan asked after the hostess retreated to her station.

"Yes. No." Audrey replied focusing her eyes on her companion. "I kind of wish I could high-five my sixteen year old self, though."

"I'd like to see that," Nathan chuckled. "Why?"

"I'm feeling really good right now, and you're a huge part of that. I just wish young Audrey Parker could've known what it was like to have someone like you in her life."

"But those experiences made you the person you are today. The good, the bad."

"Yeah, but at the time, I thought I could've done with a lot less character building, you know?"

Nathan frowned. "I'm sorry, Audrey."

"What? No. I'm fine. It wasn't all bad."

Nathan didn't get the chance to respond because their server arrived at the table. "Hi folks. My name is Kelly, and I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you out with an appetizer or something from the bar?"

Audrey looked at Nathan, mock seriousness filling her voice. "I know you trust me with your life, but do you trust me with your beer?"

"Sure."

Audrey turned back to the server. "Do you have Fat Heads on tap?"

"We do."

"We'll take a couple pints and an order of bruschetta to get us started."

"I'll get that right out to you," the waitress replied before leaving the table.

Audrey fingered through the menu. "I wonder if it still tastes the same. The food's good, but after working here, I couldn't eat Italian for years."

"Are you about to ruin Italian for yourself all over again?"

"I've had enough distance," she reasoned.

"Any recommendations?"

She perused the menu. "Crisp bacon, gorgonzola and arugula pizza. If I start to go all Pavlov's dogs on you, you'll know why."

"When in Xenia…" Nathan studied her. "So when I asked if you were looking for someone…"

"Right. I was hoping you hadn't noticed. So, uh, Stephanie Mittermeier's family owned this place, and if I'm lucky, they still do."

"Mittermeier. That's a good Italian name if ever I heard one," Nathan deadpanned.

"About as Italian as Wuornos."

"At least the Mittermeiers won't be mistaken for a serial killer."

Audrey grimaced. "I'm sorry. I was nervous, tried to be funny, and failed miserably."

But the name _Mittermeier_ stuck with Nathan. It was somehow familiar. "Parker?"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't she the one who dared you to walk across the top of the swing set when you were a kid?"

"Yeah."

"And you fell and broke your wrist."

"That's the one."

"Made you hate heights."

"Hey, I braved the Ferris wheel with you."

"Only because you were goaded into it. I thought you hated her. 'She devil' comes to mind."

"It was kind of a mutual thing. She used to taunt me for having no parents, and I stole Josh Hopkins from her last time I was in town. I mean, for like, two seconds. It was funny, really. I spent all this time in high school crushing on him, and once I got him, meh."

Nathan's brows rose.

Audrey shrugged. "I was eighteen. Kid stuff. Besides, she's married to him now. They have a foster son…"

"Whose sister is Teddy," Nathan pieced together. "And the she-devil, that's who is going to help you with Teddy?"

"I didn't say this was going to be easy."

"Let me get this straight. The same girl who gave you hell for being in an orphanage is allowed to foster children?"

"She used what she could to hurt me, and I used what I could to hurt her."

"And yet you worked in her family's restaurant?"

"That was not intentional. I worked here _before_ her parents bought it and stayed on after. They were good to me. Honest. Hardworking. Their daughter…not so much."

"So the plan is to hang around here on the off chance she shows up?"

"No. The plan is to eat a great meal, and while we're here, we'll find out if the family still owns it."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Fat Heads and bruschetta," Kelly, the waitress, interrupted as she removed two frothy glasses of amber liquid from her tray and a platter of bruschetta, along with two smaller plates. "Have you had a chance to look over the menu?"

Audrey looked to Nathan, who nodded his assent for her to order for them. "We'd like the crisp bacon, gorgonzola and arugula pizza. Thin crust."

Kelly made a note on her order pad. "I'll get that order right in. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Actually, there is," Audrey replied. "I grew up in the area but have been away for several years. I was wondering if the Mittermeiers still own the restaurant."

"They retired a couple of years back. Their daughter runs the place now."

_Just like that, indeed_. "How is Stephanie?" Audrey asked.

Kelly looked uncomfortable. "She's…fine."

"Does she spend much time here?"

"Actually, yes, she does. In fact, she normally stops by in the evening to check on things."

"When she shows up, could you send her my way?"

"If your service has not been satisfactory, please give me the chance to make it right," Kelly stammered.

"You're doing fine," Nathan assured the girl.

"Stephanie is an old…friend of mine. We grew up together but lost touch over the years. I'd really like to reconnect."

"I can't guarantee when she'll be here," Kelly explained apologetically.

"We've got time," Nathan said.

At that, Audrey looked to Nathan and mouthed, "Thank you." He was so incredibly patient, particularly considering this was yet another one of her wild-haired ideas.

As it turned out, they did not have to wait long, for within a few minutes, they noticed their server speaking with a dark haired woman and pointing in their direction.

With perfect posture and the graceful movements of a dancer, the woman made her way to Audrey and Nathan's booth. "Audrey Parker! This is a surprise!" The brunette sounded positively enthusiastic as she greeted Audrey, but the disdain in her eyes could not be veiled.

"Nathan, this is Stephanie Mittermeier."

Stephanie held up her left hand and wiggled her fingers to show a rather audaciously large ring. "Actually, it's Hopkins now. I married Josh. You remember him, right?" The saccharine sweet voice was laced with venom. Audrey recognized it all too well.

And just like that, she was ten years younger, embroiled in a battle of wills against the she-devil. "Who?" Audrey replied blankly. At Stephanie's disgusted expression, Audrey shook her head and said in an equally, overly sweet voice, "I'm sorry. Bad joke. Stephanie, this is Nathan Wuornos, my…partner."

"How forward thinking of you," Stephanie commented. "Of course, there are those of us who prefer the bonds of matrimony to being," she lifted her fingers to make air quotes, "'partners'."

Audrey's eyes narrowed. "Funny. The lack of a wedding ring never was a problem for you before."

"Audrey and I work together at the Haven, Maine, Police Department," Nathan supplied, trying to diffuse the situation.

"You're a little out of your jurisdiction, aren't you?" Stephanie asked.

Audrey replied sharply, "We aren't here on police business."

Stephanie expelled the tiniest of huffs. "I can't fathom what would ever compel you to come back here. You have no connection to Xenia."

Audrey had an image of an old western movie flash in her mind's eye. She could almost picture a showdown between two gunslingers at high noon.

'_This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'_

The absurd thought brought a chuckle burbling to the surface. She had to fight it down. This was surreal. Forget everything she and Nathan had faced in Haven. Seeing Stephanie Mittermeier—no, Hopkins—for the first time in a decade seemed a far less pleasant problem to solve. And what she was hoping to convince the woman who stood before her was an impossible task.

"I've just been to St. Mary's."

Stephanie sniffed. "Oh. Home sweet home, then."

"Something like that."

"I never imagined you were all that close with the nuns. No offense, Audrey, but you were never the holy type."

"We all come from somewhere. I'm just trying to find out where that is for me."

The sour expression on Stephanie's face softened. "Well, then. I hope you find the answers you're looking for."

"But..."

"No buts," Stephanie shook her head. "I know you and I didn't always see eye to eye growing up…"

"Every chance you got, you gave me hell."

"You didn't exactly make my life a picnic either," Stephanie defended. "But I am sorry that I wasn't always kind to you about your situation."

"I met someone today. Teddy Green. Do you know her?"

Stephanie shuddered. "With a name like that and an attitude to match, she's impossible to forget. She has shown up at our house a few times."

"You have custody of her little brother, Sam."

"You haven't changed a bit. Still as nosey as ever."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Stephanie glared at her.

"That's what I wanted to talk with you about." Audrey took a deep breath before laying out the situation to her nemesis.

* * *

"The pizza was unusual," Nathan commented as he opened the door to their room at the bed and breakfast. It was an innocuous comment, bland, and completely contradictory to the nerves he was sure he would feel fluttering in his stomach, if only he could actually feel.

But Audrey did make him feel. It was more than the press of her warmth, the tactile sensations returning to his dead nerves whenever she touched him. It was the hope she sprang in him, the joy he could find even in the mundane when he was with her, the way she made him laugh, the way she challenged him. And he'd seen a side of her tonight he had never seen before. Audrey Prudence Parker could be catty. Watching the interplay between her and Stephanie Mittermeier was like watching a game of ping-pong. The back and forth was head spinning, a bit uncomfortable, immature, and oddly amusing at the same time.

This was the woman he loved, decidedly imperfect. And yet, perfect for him. _He wanted a life with her_. The thought seized him. He wanted to give her the home she'd never had, the family she'd never experienced.

_You're getting ahead of yourself, Wuornos. The only future you've discussed with Parker is an apocalyptical one, not the white picket fence, two kids, and a dog scenario. _

And there were no guarantees. There never were, of course, but with her, with the questions about her past, who's to say where those answers would lead her?

_Stop over thinking. Just enjoy being with her._

"Think it'll keep up your strength?" Audrey asked, looking over her shoulder knowingly at him.

"Guess we'll find out." The words sounded far more confident than he felt.

The room, which had seemed so spacious earlier, suddenly seemed much smaller. Audrey sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her shoes and socks. The scar on the bottom of her foot caught her attention.

Was this fair to Nathan, to draw him even closer when she had no idea of what being Lucy Ripley meant?

The shift in their relationship was one she welcomed, which was odd considering a few weeks ago, she never would have thought they would be on the brink of so much more.

But she _had_ been someone else, lived an entirely different existence, and now it was coming back. Who had Lucy been to the Chief? It was so hard to imagine a romantic relationship with Garland Wuornos, but nearly thirty years ago, who knows? And Ephraim Brand? He held so many answers to her past, but Audrey couldn't help but think those answers would come at a steep price.

And then there was Nathan. He wanted nothing more from her than to be there _for_ her, to be _with_ her. He had been her best friend first. Sometimes she thought he knew her better than she knew herself.

"I still can't believe you pulled that off."

Audrey was so lost in her own thoughts, Nathan's words only served to confuse her. It must have shown on her face because Nathan elaborated. "With Stephanie. Not the shoes."

"Oh, right. I don't know that I have entirely, but maybe it will help. Teddy keeping Sam after school everyday instead of daycare, at least it's something."

"It'll mean the world to Teddy," Nathan opined.

"Am I nosey?" Audrey asked abruptly.

"Yes," Nathan replied, perhaps a bit too quickly for Audrey's taste. "Why does it bother you what Stephanie thinks?" he challenged.

"I'm not bothered."

"If you say so."

"I'm not bothered," Audrey reiterated leaning back on her hands. "I'm _not_. Stephanie is kind of like my Duke, only in a shinier package. She pushes my buttons."

"But you're not bothered."

"Okay, so she said something."

Nathan smirked. "She said a lot of things."

"True. I kind of think she liked hearing herself talk. But she said I have no real connection to Xenia. She's right. I have no family. Only a few friends left here. Lucy was far more connected to Haven. Me too. So why here?"

"Come again?"

"Why Xenia, Ohio? Why was I brought up _here_?"

"Why not? Seems just as good as any place to grow up."

"But someone must've brought me here. Maybe I brought myself here. As Lucy, I mean. But why? My life would be so much easier if I'd leave all the why's alone."

"The fact that you ask why is what makes you a good cop. The nosiness helps, too."

He sat next to her on the bed. "Is that why you entered law enforcement? A natural curiosity?"

The weight shift on the bed—his _nearness_—made Audrey suddenly feel flushed. She tried not to look at him—his straight nose, the curve of his lips, his perfect chin—too distracting. "Not really. I wanted to make a difference, which I guess makes me one walking, talking cliché."

"No, it doesn't. You do make a difference. Sometimes I think back to what it was like before you showed up, and it seems…" Nathan's voice trailed off as he stared up at the ceiling.

She dared to look at him. "It seems…," Audrey encouraged.

"Wrong somehow, like something was missing. And I don't mean the sense of touch," Nathan quickly added, meeting her gaze. "I don't know. Just…I kept thinking…is this all? And now, I-" His teeth grazed his bottom lip as he hesitated.

"What were you going to say?"

Nathan sheepishly admitted, "I look forward to every day with you."

"You care about me," Audrey responded in a sing-song way, her voice teasing.

"You know I do." His tone was far more serious than hers, quickly sobering her near-giddy banter.

"How long?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted, a small smile curling his lips. "You got under my skin from the beginning." Her annoyance—not hysteria, _annoyance_—over being in a car halfway hanging over the side of a cliff was the first sign that she wasn't like anyone else he'd ever met. Then there was her fascination with the unexplained and the odd, coupled with the fact she didn't take crap from anyone, all of which served to further intrigued him. "I like your sarcasm, the way you handle yourself. How you care about people. You're awkward as hell with them," he added with a grin, which she met with a good-natured eye rolling. "But you care. Like today with Teddy. Not sure when it became more. I mean, I may have noticed you when I cut you out of that cocoon and saw what was under all those pantsuits you used to wear."

"You told me you didn't look." She poked his arm.

"Might've downplayed that. Or when we went to the opening of the Second Chance bistro and you wore that blue dress and," he smiled, "realized you'd left on the price tag."

"Not one of my finer moments."

"You're beautiful," he said quietly, "but you're not wrapped up in your looks. You're smart, but it's not at the expense of others."

"But you never acted on any of this, not until a few days ago."

"Are you really going to make me say it?"

"Say what?"

"I couldn't…I couldn't just sweep you into my arms. First off, I'm pretty sure you would've tried to kick my ass."

"Succeeded."

"Tried, not succeeded," Nathan countered, which elicited a grin from her. "And you've become too important to our town, to me." With that, he took a deep breath. "I couldn't risk scaring you off."

"I'm not that skittish."

"I never had any reason to believe that what I feel for you might be reciprocated until Lady Cassandra and the visions."

"And just what _do_ you feel for me?" The words had come out quickly, but immediately, Audrey wished she could reel them back in. She hopped off the bed and walked to the French doors to pull the curtain closed in an attempt to regain her emotional balance. "Okay. Rewind. I don't want to put you on the spot. I'm not good at this."

"No, you're really not," he conceded as he followed her across the room. Standing behind her, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her neck. His arms wrapped around her waist, enveloping her in his warmth. "But neither am I. Didn't you tell me on more than one occasion that I've got no game?"

Audrey lifted her fingertips to her lips. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to amend that statement." She turned to face him. "We've complicated things. We've joked about the office pool—or I've joked, anyway—but I don't want to harm your career or reputation."

"Parker, we live in a town where kids can cause objects to spontaneously combust, men can age 60 years in a matter of hours, and stuffed animals come to life. I think my reputation is the least of my worries."

"I thought—well, the other morning when you took me home, you were worried about it."

"Seems short-sighted now."

"But after everything that's happened in the last few days, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to just turn around and never look back. More than anything, I don't want to hurt you, and I'm so scared that's what I'm going to do without even trying."

"So are you telling me you're going to walk away?" he asked, his breath hitching.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not that good of a person."

"_Audrey_," he gently admonished.

"You have been the one person that I absolutely trust. You put up with my craziness, all the questions I have about myself. You've kept me going when I've wanted to give up. You make me laugh. You're a good man." She grinned wickedly. "And you're also hot."

"Hot-hot or fever-hot? Just for clarification purposes. Because last time it was fever-hot."

Audrey saw the glint of mischief in his eyes. Wordlessly, she rested her hands on his waist, her fingers slipping in his belt loops, and her thumbs brushing the flesh of his abdomen. She looked up at him lazily, her desire mingling with his. "I want this. I want _you._"

With that small encouragement, his hands went to the hem of her shirt. He could feel her warmth and hear the catch in her breath as his hands dipped under the shirt and his fingers brushed against her skin, feather-light. A throaty giggle escaped from her.

"Ticklish," she explained.

"I'll have to remember that." He began to slide his hands upward, bringing her shirt with them. Audrey lifted her arms over her head making it is easier for Nathan to remove the article. His eyes took her in as she stood before him clad in a navy blue bra, its darkness a deep contrast to her pale porcelain skin. Her breasts were not large, but with each breath she took, they rose slightly, peeking further out of the cups. Need zipped through him. She was stunning. Her smooth skin, her taut abdomen, the little freckle near her belly button…just _beautiful_.

Noting his look of appreciation, as well as his growing bulge, she reached behind herself and unfastened the clasp of the undergarment before tossing it aside. With eagerness, he placed his palm under one of her mounds, coaxing it into a rosy peak with his thumb. He dipped his head, taking the peak into his mouth, his tongue darting over and around.

Audrey's small hands twined with his hair, urging him closer even as she arched against him. More. More. _More_.

A tiny protest escaped from her lips as his mouth traveled downward, trailing kisses along her abdomen until he reached her belly button. He knelt, almost in reverence; all the while his hands lingered over the button of her jeans. He looked up, saw the slight parting of her lips, and then their eyes locked. Wordlessly, she touched his face, tenderly, willing all she felt _for_ him to be literally felt _by_ him. He turned his head, brushing his lips over the inside of one wrist.

This was really going to happen. They were going to do this. It had been so long for him, so long since he'd felt anything—especially down there—except for those few nights when his dreams were spurred by memories of how it felt to find release, to be a whole man and not the ghost of one.

And Audrey, the woman he loved, was offering herself to him. What if—what if he'd forgotten how to make love? What if he lost control and it ended too quickly?

"Are you nervous?" Audrey's words sliced through his thoughts. There was no teasing, no challenge to the question, only sincerity.

Damn. She'd read him like a book. "Me? No. You?"

"What? No." She threw him a look like he was crazy, but it quickly dissolved as she grudgingly admitted with a smile, "Okay. Yes. Maybe a little."

"Me too." Nathan let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I don't want to mess this up."

"We aren't going to mess this up, though I can draw you a diagram if you'd like."

"Not necessary," he replied huskily as he pulled apart the enclosure on the denim she wore and methodically slid her pants and navy panties to the floor. She stepped from the heap, and Nathan drank her in. She was petite, but the gentle swell of her hips and the firmness of her slender thighs made him quite certain she already held power over him.

"I want to feel every inch of you." His voice was thick with emotion, with want.

"You're overdressed for that."

But her words and thoughts were quickly forgotten as Nathan pressed tiny kisses along her knee. Slowly working his way up her leg, he flicked the tip of his tongue against the smooth skin of her inner thigh. Audrey half-gasped, half-moaned as her legs began to quiver. He was close. So, so close. Not close enough. Not…_oh_.

His index finger slid against her, moving easily against the slickness of her folds. He teased the finger deeper, gliding into her tight sheath, and then a second one, rubbing her, filling her.

And then his mouth replaced the digits.

At his first taste of her essence, Audrey's fingers dug into Nathan's shoulders as she tried to steady herself against the onslaught of bliss. He pushed his tongue into her, licking his way to the tiny button swollen with her desire until finally he circled over and around it, each twitch of response guiding him. Audrey felt as though she was rising, being carried by his caresses, his attention. It was too much and not enough and…._oh_. His hands went to her buttocks to hold her to his mouth as he dipped his tongue inside her again, penetrating her tightness, feeling for her nub, the bundle of nerves that made her tremble under his ministration. He began to lave her harder, faster. Her body stiffened even as he held her close, until her cry burned through him as she found release.

A shuddering sigh escaped her as his lips traveled upward, along the plane of her abdomen, to the valley between her breasts. She could barely catch her breath, even as his kisses moved from the ball of her shoulder, and across her collarbone, his tongue leaving a heated trail in its wake. He finally settled at the base of her throat, burying his lips against the hollow there, where he could feel each frantic flutter of her pulse.

He was going to leave a love bite. She was quite certain of it. Audrey was also quite certain that as long as he made her feel the way she felt right now, she didn't care if he left a whole connect-the-dots atlas of lovebites. In his arms, she felt alive and free and loved.

She felt like herself.

Finally, his lips traveled to hers, requesting entrance. She could faintly taste herself on them.

But Nathan needed more of her, more contact.

As though reading his thoughts, Audrey broke the kiss and began to slowly, deliberately unbutton his shirt until she could finally slide it over his shoulders. She found herself speechless, staring at his form. Yes, as she had surmised before, clothing did not do him justice. His strong chest and sculpted abdomen were dotted with faint scars, and she almost thought she could map his history. With some of them, she thought it was a wonder he hadn't been killed. The errant thought made her chest tighten.

He no longer had a bandage over his wound from three days ago—which surprised her less than realizing that the flesh had already knitted itself back together. Three parallel marks, pink with their newness, held her attention. Without another word, she pressed her lips to the new scars. In a strange way, these scars had brought them together, but they were held together by something far more powerful than the faint pink lines.

Audrey lifted her gaze, locking eyes with him. The expression on his face was different from the carefully controlled man she had known over the last year. She could see the rawness of emotion in his eyes, the desire. The love. Without a word, they crashed into one another. Lips and teeth, hearts and minds. Nathan pulled her tightly against himself, her skin against his, her lips against his. He was tasting her. Savoring her. His mouth moved against hers. His teeth nipped at the fullness of her lower lip until finally his tongue plunging inside to tangle with hers. She melted against him, sinking into the kiss, even as her fingers found the metal fastener on his jeans.

He pulled away ever so-slightly and looked down, seeing the straining of his cock against the denim material of his pants. He couldn't feel it. If there was any such thing as an out of body experience, this was it.

But then she pushed the material down his hips and dipped her hand beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs.

He felt _everything_.

The tiny hands and their ardor. Pressure. Pleasure. Sensation. Friction. Sweet, sweet torment. "Yes." The words escaped from his lips without thought, without effort.

He protested slightly when she pulled away, until he felt her hands pull the cotton material down his legs, freeing him.

He needed to bury himself in her, thought he might die from the need even as he gently steered her toward the large bed, finally settling on scooping her up in his arms. He hovered over her, once he placed her on the mattress, before finally lowering himself to be cradled between her slender thighs.

"I want you, Nathan."

He gritted his teeth as he felt her arch against him. "I haven't done this in awhile. I…I don't know if I'm going to be able to…keep it together."

Her fingertips lightly trailed down his back. "Let yourself go. No worries. I'm thinking marathon, not one lap around the track."

"I should get protection." Would he even be able to feel her with that thin layer of latex? He wasn't sure, but he respected her too much to take chances—though a child with her would certainly be welcome someday.

"You don't have to." She pressed kisses against his neck.

"I…are you sure?"

"I want you to feel _everything._"

She bucked her hips, reveling in the feel of him while he ground against her wet heat. With one hand, she reached between them, placing his tip at her opening and once again lifting her hips. Nathan hissed, as he slid into her tightness. Stunned, he stilled himself, as awareness cascaded through his body. He took a deep breath as he acclimated to the clench of her muscles around his shaft and the sheer intensity of the feelings coursing through him.

There could never be anyone else but her. Under him. Around him. She consumed him.

And thought gave way to instinct as he sought to fill her, feel her, over and over. Nathan's palms founds hers, stretching their arms over their heads, all the while their bodies moved together in a timeless dance. Their gazes locked. And then they were climbing. Reaching. _Reached!_ Falling. Deliciously spent.

And everything else—all doubt, all fear—was lost to the beauty of the moment.

* * *

Sister Agatha considered her cup of tepid tea. The drink was more a drink of habit than enjoyment. As a young girl in Connecticut, her mother—eccentric by most standards—swore by the liquid. Of course, her mother's habit was to read the leaves left in the bottom of the cup for hints of what was to come. Agatha had no such belief in the supernatural, other than, of course, divine miracles. At least, that had been her stance until twenty-seven years ago when she found that the world was full of the unexplainable. "I never expected that she would come back," she told Sister Frances.

"I did as was required."

Agatha nodded. "Yes, I'm sure you did, Sister Frances. The plan was put in place for just such an occasion. Did she come alone?"

"No. She brought a man with her. Mid-thirties, I would say, and smitten with her. Mr. Wuornos was his name."

"Wuornos?" The cup slipped from Sister Agatha's hand and crashed to the floor sending shards in all directions.


	2. Chapter 2

**This corresponds with Phoenix Rising, a rather lengthy multi-chapter story. To better understand the events of this chapter, you will likely want to read that story. This is, of course, the more mature version of Chapter 29.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: "Paradise Lost"**

"_It is called _Forbidden Fruit_."_

"_I can see why." Lucy stepped back from the easel and found herself practically pacing around the painting, trying to study it from different perspectives. What it lacked in old world charm it more than made up for in passion, intensity. She could imagine the artist had profoundly felt the loss of paradise himself. That personal connection was something she thought she lacked in her own artwork. It was one thing to be technically proficient, but to actually feel the subject, to become one with the piece, was another matter altogether._

_Ephraim's fingertips moved down her bare arms. "In all your years, have you ever seen quite as spectacular a rendering of the original sin?"_

_Lucy's eyes followed the brushstrokes, down to the deep red of the apple, and felt a chill. "It seems to almost come off the canvas."_

"_I thought so, as well." Seeing her goosebumps, he wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned back against his broad chest. Safe. Strong. The last few weeks had been a whirlwind of pursuit, of attentiveness, romance. _

_But she wasn't quite lost in his touches yet. The painting—and what it represented—troubled her. It tugged at that minute part of her that by nature looked for the what-if, the catch, the fly in the ointment. "I wonder if it was worth it. To gain knowledge only to lose paradise."_

_His lips trailed along her neck, even as he felt for the zipper on the back of her dress. "It's human nature to want what we cannot have. We lust for it, would kill for it. Fortunately, I already have my heart's desire."_

_The dress fell to a heap on the floor and she turned to face him. His eyes drank her in. "You're beautiful."_

_Lucy was not shy about her body, but sometimes his attentiveness could be overwhelming. "You say that now. We'll see how you feel in fifty years when I'm old and gray."_

_His hand found hers and toyed with the large diamond ring she wore. "Fifty. A hundred fifty. It makes no difference. You will be beautiful to me. Young."_

"_Right," she laughed. "I'll always be younger than you, but young? Not quite."_

"_Marry me tonight."_

_She protested lightly, not taking his words seriously. "We can't get married tonight. It's late and it's too soon!"_

_He pressed a quick kiss to her lips before saying, "I adore your contradictions. How can it be late and soon?"_

_She groaned in exasperation as she pulled her hair up in a makeshift bun and padded to the large bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. "There is no one to marry us this late at night. Besides, don't you want to enjoy the engagement? It's too soon." She grabbed his over-sized bathrobe._

_He followed her and leaned against the counter next to where she stood. "It's not soon enough. You let me make love to you. Why won't you let me marry you?" She opened her mouth to protest again, but he lifted his finger and placed it over her lips. "Consider the painting a wedding present."_

_She laughed. "You are so old-fashioned."_

"_And you are so thoroughly modern."_

_Her blue eyes considered his green ones. "How can I say no to you?"_

"_That's just it. You can't."_

* * *

"_I'm going to town." The whirlwind had settled._

"_The police station again?" Ephraim asked as he sat up in bed. He grimaced slightly._

"_Your back?" she asked upon seeing his expression. She walked to the bedside and pressed her hand against his skin. "The scar is so warm."_

"_Your touch improves my outlook."_

"_I still wish you would see the specialist I consulted."_

_Ephraim looked at her patiently. "There is no specialist for this, and you never did answer my question."_

"_You noticed," Lucy replied with a wry grin._

"_I notice everything about you." He spoke with the intensity that she found so irresistible when they had first met. _

_She nodded. "I am going to station."_

"_A dreary place and too early. I wish you could find the inspiration to do more than police sketches."_

_Lucy frowned. "You told me you wanted me to get involved with the community, so I'm involved. It's quite different from New York."_

"_I didn't rescue you from the dredges of the East Village for you to squander your talents. Have you even painted anything lately?"_

"_First, you didn't rescue me. I was doing quite fine on my own before you started throwing lavish gifts my way—"  
_

"_And you threw them back in my face, as I recall."_

_At that, she had to smile. The beginning of their relationship had not been without its bumps. "Second, I provide a valuable service to this community."_

"_Garland Wuornos seems to think so."_

_She paused. "Why did you just do that?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_The way you said his name. 'Garland Wuornos'" She imitated his accent as she said the name, echoing the distaste Ephraim exhibited. She flopped down on the bed beside him. "Are you jealous?"_

"_Of a man who wears a polyester police uniform and is barely intelligible when he speaks? No."_

"_You are," Lucy grinned. "You shouldn't be, you know. My heart only belongs to you. My heart. My body."_

_He pulled her atop him to straddle his hips. "Your soul?"_

"_Well, that I don't just give away to anybody." She wriggled away from him, got up off the bed, walked to the ample closet, and pulled out a patterned dress. He watched as she zipped it. While modest in coverage, it hugged her slender form in all the right places. _

"_You are really leaving?"_

"_I told you. I have work to do at the police station."_

"_Lucy, I insist you stay out of harm's way and, for God's sake, don't do anything to draw attention to yourself." _

"_Ephraim, I can't ignore when someone has a…problem."_

"_For your preservation and mine, you should."_

* * *

_When Lucy entered the bullpen, her eyes immediately went to Garland's desk, but he wasn't there. Instead, a woman whose movements struck Lucy as graceful stood near it, leaving a note of some kind on the desk. A little boy sat in the office chair spinning in circles._

_She didn't have the time wrong, did she? _

_Lucy approached the desk, suddenly finding herself very curious about the lovely woman who, on closer inspection, was identical to the woman in the framed photo on Garland's desk. _

_This must be Holly._

_With all the putting out of fires—literally and figuratively—that she and Garland did, it was easy to forget that he had a life outside of the Troubles, just as she did. He was a man with a family, and what a beautiful family it was._

_The woman immediately greeted her. "Hi, you must be Lucy. I've heard so much about you. I'm Holly. And this," Garland's wife looked down at the little boy who was spinning in his father's swivel chair, "is Nathan." Holly stopped the movement of the chair and was rewarded with a frown._

_Lucy knelt and extended her hand. The little boy hesitantly took it. "Pleased to meet you, Nathan. I'm a friend of your dad's. Can I tell you a secret?"_

_That perked the little boy's attention. "What?"_

"_I used to like to twirl in these chairs, too."_

"_Will you spin me?" he asked._

_Lucy looked to Holly, who nodded. _

"_Sure. Hold on tight." With that, Lucy spun the chair, much to the delight of the little boy who laughed without reservation. _

"_Faster! Faster!" he demanded._

"_We should go." The gravelly voice cut through the air, directed at Lucy. "Heard there were some strange things happening at the Glendower compound." No hello. No acknowledgment of his family. _

"_Garland—" Holly's voice was almost plaintive, as though she wanted to say more. "Be careful out there."_

"_Always am," he replied, as he grabbed his hat off corner of his chair._

"_Except when you're not," Holly retorted with a melancholic smile. She pressed the note she had been writing into his hand, and he quickly stuffed it into his breast pocket._

"_Bye, Daddy! Bye, Lucy!"_

_Lucy looked back at the little boy, whose toothless grin made her heart clench. But it was the expression on Holly's face that gave her pause._

* * *

"_Your family is beautiful."_

"_Yep." Rain clouds were forming overhead. The roads to the Glendower compound were not easy to traverse. Nasty weather wouldn't make it any easier. He reached for a cigarette, lit it, and let the nicotine calm his nerves. Between the hell-in-a-hand basket that Haven seemed to be dissolving into and the fight he'd had with Holly that morning, enjoying a cigarette was the least of his worries._

_She studied him, even as she pulled her coffee-colored hair back into a ponytail. _

"_What?" he halfway growled._

"_You shouldn't smoke. It says so right there on the package." She tapped her finger on the pack of cigarettes that sat on the seat between them._

"_It's either that or…"He didn't give voice to the alternative. Smoking calmed him. He wasn't going to apologize for it._

_A smile formed on her lips. "Does Holly like kissing a man who tastes like smoke?"_

"_Probably not."_

"_I know I wouldn't."_

"_Well, it doesn't look like you have anything to worry about, now do you, Lucy? Mr. Ripley doesn't smoke."_

"_You shouldn't call him that. Ephraim doesn't like the nickname."_

_Garland chuckled. "I know."_

* * *

Audrey stirred awake, though she tried to cling to the last remnants of the dreams, refusing to open her eyes just yet and completely push them from her consciousness.

The dream. No, _dreams_. Plural. Her mind had jumped from one to the other. No rhyme or reason.

But were they dreams? Dreams often had that surreal air, the not-quite-right-so-you-know-this-isn't-real quality. No, this felt real, so real. Memories. Been-there-done-that _bona fid_e memories.

More memories. Odd. It was as if she stood at the floodgate, her finger plugging the hole. If only she could pull out her finger, the water would rush out, the memories would rush out. But she was stuck.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of it. The fruit. Original sin. Paradise lost. Ephraim. He had hardly seemed a monster; as Lucy she had been in love, though he kept her off kilter. Lucy had liked that about him, that he wanted her but neither could quite tame the other.

And then there was Garland.

Lucy and Garland were teasing each other—and there was chemistry there—but it didn't seem to be anything romantic. Maybe Sally Harrington had misinterpreted. Hell, maybe she straight up lied.

But there was the look on Holly's face. Holly had not trusted Lucy, just as Ephraim had not trusted Garland.

And little Nathan. She did not want to think of him as a little boy, not when the night before, they had…

Audrey's eyes flew open, and the dreams began to leave her; all that remained were impressions, ghosts.

Daylight shone through the curtains. The air had a definite chill to it, but she was surrounded by warmth. Nathan. Her own personal furnace. She lay on her side, her back against his chest, no space between them. One of his arms was under her neck, wrapped around her shoulder. The other was looped around her waist.

This was an unfamiliar bed. Definitely not hers. The bed and breakfast. Xenia, Ohio.

Last night had really happened. Her sore muscles could attest to that, but this was soreness that she actually welcomed.

Sex had never been like this. In Audrey's past, it had ranged from nice to meh, but never wow. Never I-can't-get-enough-of-you. She'd always had the attitude that if she wanted to get the job done right, she had to do it herself. Not so with Nathan. For a man who was out of practice (and nervous about being out of practice), he certainly knew what he was doing.

And she loved him. She knew it before they had made love. If things had not gone well in the bedroom, it wouldn't have made her stop loving him. But it sure didn't hurt that she'd had the best toe-curling, soul-shattering sex of her life, over and over, each time better than the last. A week ago, who'd have thought?

She lightly rubbed the hand on her waist as she felt him stir.

"Hi."

"Hi." He nuzzled her neck, eliciting a ticklish giggle from her. "You okay this morning?" Their lovemaking had alternated between being tender and vigorous. She had assured him that he had not hurt her, but…

"More than okay," she promised him. "I'm happy." It wasn't a word she used often, but it felt right. _This_ felt right. The physical connection they shared had been intense, but it only punctuated the emotional one. There had been no declarations of love as they lay entangled in the sheets, talking about life and hopes and laughing at each other's stories. The lack of a declaration hadn't mattered. She was certain Nathan knew she loved him, just as she was certain Nathan loved her, even without the words.

"Same here. I think I'd forgotten what happiness is until you came along." And he laid it on the line. It wasn't something he often did, which made her appreciate its significance all the more.

"It was my sarcasm. People don't understand the connection between sarcasm and happiness."

"I love you, Audrey."

No sarcasm there. She didn't need the words, but the words were beautiful, nonetheless, as they fell from his lips, and she imagined his voice was velvet, caressing her with those beautiful words.

"I know." Smartass. She couldn't help herself.

Her cheeky reply drew a chuckle from him. "You're a brat."

"I know that, too." She rubbed her foot against his leg. "I'm in love with you. First time in my life that I've ever felt like this." Was it kindness or cruelty to tell him that? It was easier not to look at him, not to bare her soul while staring into those eyes. In an odd way, she didn't want to see his joy because she was scared that one day, her past would truly and finally catch up to her and all she'd see in his eyes would be pain. If she didn't see the joy, would that make the pain easier to take?

She needed answers. No doubt about that. But she had something—someone—worth fighting for.

His hand dipped below her waist. She drew in a breath from pleasure, not surprise. She always knew she liked his hands. Strong. Long, graceful fingers. But as one hand went lower, delving into her folds, stroking her there, and the other cupped her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple into a hard peak, she was quite certain his were the most spectacular hands ever.

She rocked against him, her hips grinding against his erection. Already she yearned for him, but he seemed content to tantalize her instead.

"Please. Oh please." She reached down between her own legs, took his manhood, and placed him at her opening. Nathan pressed against her, sliding in with ease.

"Audrey." He said her name as a sigh, as a prayer. They moved in rhythm, their bodies melded in a dance of their own making.

She came first. Her mewling pleas and her shuddering around him urged him to his own climax.

Even as their bodies stilled, she could feel his heart pounding against her back. Steady. True. And she was safe, sure of herself, and in love. If there ever were a Trouble to freeze a moment in time, she would want it to be this moment.

"Nice way to wake up," she murmured, her breaths raspy.

"I'm still not convinced I am awake," he replied, grinning against her shoulder.

She squirmed away from him, her movements met with protest until she rolled over and pressed herself against him, this time face to face.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

A dam burst between them. He felt like he'd been tiptoeing around what he wanted for so long for fear of scaring her off. Now he was certain she was his addiction. "Like I can't get enough of you."

"We make a good team," she replied drowsily.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Need to sleep some more?" As he recalled, there wasn't much sleep going on the night before.

She was tired, but she didn't mind it. "We should get up, get ready. We told Sister Frances we'd be back by 9:30. Plus, I want to check in on Teddy."

But neither made a move to get up, to disentangle from the other.

Audrey groaned. "I have no willpower."

"Maybe just a little longer?" he suggested.

But sleep wasn't what he had in mind.

* * *

Ephraim Brand stared at the ceiling. The polished wood beams in his opulent bedchamber were lovely, a far cry from the thatched roof of his youth. He was warm, protected from the wind, the elements, protected from death, protected from life. Sometimes it was easy to forget his origins, but his past informed him, made him the man he had become.

Yes, the beams were lovely, though he would gladly give them up for the not nearly so lovely popcorn-finished ceiling of Lucy's apartment. It was a late 1970's decorating fad that Ephraim never fully embraced. He had laughed about it as Lucy proclaimed she liked the ceiling of her studio apartment when he'd commented on it the first time they lay in her piteously small bed. It hadn't been long before that he had found her scraping by as an artist and so full of life and fire. She was always identical in that way, no matter what she called herself. So vibrant. Audrey was the same.

It made the hunt that much more titillating. He had yet to catch her this time, but he would.

But Audrey was with Nathan Wuornos. Oh, she played coy when it came to their relationship, but a man would have to be blind to not see the way young Wuornos looked at her or the way she looked at him. The only piece of beautiful irony that made the whole sordid tale worthwhile was the knowledge that Garland Wuornos had to see it, too.

After all, it did not take much imagination to guess what they were doing on their trip to Ohio.

Twenty-seven years ago when Lucy disappeared, Garland Wuornos stood between him and the truth. All these years later, he still wasn't sure how Wuornos had done it, deprived him of her, triggered her resurgence, and ushered her away. But secrets had a way of coming out, and sometimes they were helped along.

Ephraim glanced at the clock. Any moment now, the bus should arrive at the station and on it, a man who had not stepped foot in Haven in many years would emerge, a return trip from Shawshank. Like a puzzle, the pieces would come together, with a little urging.

And yet Ephraim couldn't keep an errant thought from entering his mind. He wondered what the ceiling looked like where Audrey slept.

* * *

The towel slung low on Nathan's hips afforded Audrey quite a view. Droplets of water ran down his chest and disappeared into the cloth. They had taken separate showers; she was adamant they both had to get ready, but unfortunately, they kept getting sidetracked. _Look, don't touch_, she silently warned herself. This had never been a problem before. Of course, she had never experienced such satisfaction before, either.

Nathan caught Audrey's gaze and realized she was studying him with appreciation. He yanked at the towel and used it to wipe the water from his hair before running it over his chest and then tossing it to her, like a rock star casting a handkerchief off stage. She shot him a 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look,' but her façade cracked and she broke down laughing when he winked at her. Sex had done wonders for Nathan's ego.

He rummaged through his overnight bag to find a pair of boxer briefs, jeans, and a Henley. In the process, a small foil packet fell out of the bag. Audrey picked it up and dropped it back into the bag, but not before seeing numerous foil-wrapped condoms.

She chuckled. "You were prepared."

"Hopeful," he replied pulling his underwear up his long legs and then adjusting himself.

"With all those, I'd go with optimistic."

He reached for his jeans. One foot in, then the other, until he lifted the material up to his waist and fastened his pants. _Such a shame_, she thought.

"As it turns out, I had reason to be." Oh, yes, he was definitely proud of himself.

"But would you have even been able to feel with one on?"

"Don't know. But you would have felt me. Thought maybe if nothing else, I could at least give you some pleasure."

"And see, it's answers like that which make me want to make sure you feel everything."

"I did." And he had. Her warmth. The softness of her skin. The strength of her body. The vibration of her laughter. The moisture of her unexpected tears as the intensity of the emotion built within her. The absolute bliss as he moved within her tight sheathe. The gentle breaths that she let out against his chest, his neck. Pressure building. Release. Ecstasy. Her fingertips running down the small of his back, ever-so-lightly. He'd never known anything like it. Whether he had become so much more sensitive to sexual pleasure having gone without it for so long or whether it was sexual compatibility with Audrey, he couldn't be sure. All he knew was that even as he looked at her now pulling on a light blazer over her camisole, all he wanted to do was peel off the layers, the dark jeans, the tiny swath of fabric underneath, and lose himself in her again. To feel her muscles milking him, to hear her moan his name, to feel her contract around him as she climaxed and urged him to do the same. He wanted to love her with every part of himself.

The night before—and this morning—they'd not used protection. That was a first for him, and when he had pumped his seed deep within her without any barriers, the act struck him as far more intimate. Before he had entered her the first time, she told him it was fine, but now he wondered if they had both been caught up in the moment. If they had created a child together, it probably wouldn't have been the most opportune time. Would either of them be able to fight the Troubles with an infant in tow? But the thought of a child with her made his heart melt a bit.

Holding the embodiment of their love.

Maybe someday.

For now, he intended to enjoy this newfound aspect of their partnership.

Audrey withdrew a thin, circular object from her bag. At first glance it looked like a compact, but when she opened it, Nathan could see pills all in a line and secured in place by plastic, minus a few that were missing. "I was prepared, too. I think the nuns would be very disappointed in me."

_That answers that question_, he thought to himself. "Not just for the Pill," Nathan replied with a crooked smile. "What we did last night and this morning…," he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, his words lost in the kiss.

She could feel his hardness press against her belly. Did he even know he was aroused? "I don't have time for another shower," she said between kisses, though she had to admit that she wasn't exactly discouraging his hands from roving her body. When they broke the kiss, Audrey moved back, shaking her head and chuckling.

"What?" Nathan asked.

"It's true what they say. It's the quiet ones you have to look out for. You snuck up on me. I thought I was content to do my own thing. I knew you to be a great guy, but I just never…any thought of more, I always pushed aside. I thought friendship was all there was between us, and I didn't want to ruin that."

"And now?"

"I'm just thinking of the mechanics of kicking my own ass. How could I not see this—us—sooner? I'm not sure I would know how to go back to being just your friend, and that scares me."

"Why? We know how we feel."

"We've got a lot working against us," she stated bluntly.

"Where's all this coming from?"

"Just being realistic. For one, your dad has made it clear that he will not sanction a relationship between us."

"It's none of his business if we choose to be in a relationship with each other. We are two consenting adults."

"Actually, it _is_ his business. He's the police chief, and we're partners on his police force."

"Then we keep it professional on the job. But what we choose to do off the clock is up to us."

"I think we should keep this," she pointed between herself and Nathan, "between us."

He sat on the edge of the bed and studied her as she hopped around on one foot putting on her shoe. "Guess that rules out you moving in with me."

Audrey laughed, "That wouldn't exactly be on the down low."

"As far as everyone else is concerned, you could be my roommate." He suggested it with a put-on innocence.

"And that I'm coming to your room to bring you hot cocoa at night and tuck you in? No one is that naïve, but it's a nice thought. We'll just have to be careful."

"I liked waking up with you in my arms this morning," he stated unabashedly.

"I liked waking up with you, too, but on the bright side, all the sneaking around will probably be really, really hot."

"Yep. I guess we'll see if there's anything to this forbidden fruit thing."

Audrey blinked twice. _Forbidden fruit_. The words briefly zapped her back to her dream. _Memory? _ "But we can't fool ourselves into thinking this is going to be easy."

"I want to work toward a life with you. That means at some point, we're going to be out in the open."

"I want that, too, but…"

"But?"

"The chief isn't the only concern I have. There's also Ephraim."

Nathan half snorted. "We managed to not talk about him for a whole twelve hours. Was nice while it lasted."

She sat next to him on the bed. "I can't pretend he doesn't exist."

"He wouldn't let you if you tried."

"Look, I don't trust him. And you can wipe off that 'I told you so' look."

Nathan considered her words. "What changed your mind?"

"I never trusted him."

"Oh, come on. You thought he was intriguing."

"That's not the same as trusting him. Look, he's been too interested in you for my taste."

"He's not my type," Nathan deadpanned.

"Very funny. I don't want him to know we're more than work partners, not until I've figured out how to handle him."

"So what? When you say handle him, do you mean by giving him hope that you and he will…"

"No. Absolutely _not_. But I'm not going to have you in his crosshairs."

"Parker, I'm going to be the same place I've always been. By your side."

"Lucy—_I_—left for a reason. I need to find out why. Would be great if I could actually remember."

"Have you remembered anything else? A moment ago when I said something about forbidden fruit, you got a look on your face."

She shrugged. "Nothing helpful."

"But you have remembered something."

"I've been having dreams that seem very real, but I can't even remember half of them."

"Your past with Ephraim?"

"That's part of it, but it's hazy. I don't know." She tried to brush aside the apprehension that gnawed at her stomach. Or was that hunger? "You want breakfast?"

Nathan nodded. "I could go for some pancakes."

"How did I know?"

* * *

When Nathan and Audrey arrived at the orphanage, they spotted Teddy in the chicken yard tending to the birds. Teddy turned at the sound of the engine and the cracking of the gravel and smiled broadly, a complete turnabout from the morose girl they had met the day before. By the time Nathan stopped the engine and the two of them got out of the car, the teenager had already bounded over the fence and was at Audrey's side.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Teddy greeted Audrey with a hug. "Last night I talked to Sammy."

Audrey was almost startled by the hug and took a moment to respond. "That's great news."

"Mrs. Hopkins said it was you," Teddy said pulling back. "You're the one who changed her mind."

"I'm just glad I could help."

"They're coming this afternoon to talk with me about arrangements. Any advice?"

"Be polite. Show her you have your brother's best interest at heart. Maybe lay off the eye makeup."

Teddy giggled. "You sound like Sister Agatha."

"That's not something I hear every day."

"I just—I can't thank you enough." Teddy threw her arms around Audrey again. "You've given me back my family."

Despite her best efforts to avoid them, tears welled in Audrey's eyes. She looked to Nathan, who stood a few feet away with a look of pride and adoration on his face. He mouthed _I love you_.

And as she looked at him, she couldn't help but think she'd found her family, as well.

* * *

A few minutes later Audrey and Nathan made their way to the front door of the stone house. It was 9:30 a.m. on the dot. The door swung open before either had the chance to ring the bell. Audrey expected to see Sister Frances but was instead met by a more familiar figure: Sister Agatha. She had peeled many potatoes for that woman, all in the name of life lessons. The years had tempered those memories with an odd fondness for the sometimes stern but always fair nun.

"Do you remember me?" Audrey asked as she met Sister Agatha's eyes.

"Come here, child." The older nun embraced Audrey warmly before pulling away with an almost motherly, "Let me look at you, Audrey Parker. So grown up and far too thin."

"I don't know about that," Audrey protested.

"I do," Sister Agatha insisted. The nun looked from Audrey to Nathan and back to Audrey again. "This is your young man. I can see it in the way he looks at you."

"Nathan Wuornos," Nathan responded taking the nun's proffered hand. As he studied her face, he could have sworn he saw a flicker of something in the older woman's eyes. Recognition, perhaps? But that was impossible. She hadn't been there the day before.

"Sister Agatha," the nun identified herself. "I'm not supposed to have favorites, but Audrey here was always so special to me."

"A special pain in your—" Audrey stopped her words before she cursed in front of the nun, amending her statement to "backside."

"Come in. Tell me where you've been, what you've been doing. Last I heard from you, you were in the FBI."

The duo joined the sister in the stone house. The place bustled with activity, a far cry from the afternoon before when it had been eerily quiet.

And briefly, Audrey sketched the goings-on of her life, omitting, Nathan noticed, mentions of the Troubles. As far as Sister Agatha was concerned, Audrey settled into a small town life with few complications.

"I know why you're here," Agatha finally said. "We should go speak in my office."

The sister's office was small, Spartan by any reasonable person's account. Nathan thought it made his and Audrey's shared office at the police station look like a luxury suite. The nun sat behind her desk, while gesturing toward the two wooden chairs across the desk.

"This waiting is… ," Audrey took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm. "I need to know if you're going to help me."

Agatha removed a manila folder from her desk drawer and set it on the scarred surface. "Twenty-seven years ago, when you were brought to my care, I made a vow. A vow of secrecy, a vow to keep you safe. I always honor my vows. I shall not break them."

"But not knowing my past is causing me harm."

Agatha looked at Nathan, her old eyes focusing on him. "Yes, it is." She cleared her throat. "I cannot show you what you want to see. It would trouble my conscience."

Nathan sensed something more in the nun's demeanor. "But."

Agatha coughed slightly. "I seem to have a tickle in my throat. Perhaps some water would ease it. I shouldn't be gone longer than five minutes." She stood, looked down at the folder, and then back at Audrey. "I'll be here for you, child."

After Agatha left the room, Nathan turned to Audrey. "I guess bending is not the same as breaking."

But Audrey stared looking at the folder, not immediately moving to examine it, despite the opportunity.

"Parker?"

"Why now?" she whispered. "All these years, she refused to show me, and now she leaves the papers for me to see?"

"There's one way to find out."

She nodded and finally picked it up, running her fingers over the manila folder, long aged and musty smelling. "This is it."

The document on top would have caught her eyes, whether it was on top or buried in the middle. Across the top in a large, ornate font was spelled out **Relinquishment of Parental Rights**.

Audrey's brow furrowed. "I had parents?" Since she had concluded that she was Lucy, she never thought she would find her parents' names among the information at the orphanage. She scoured the text, searching for their identities. She turned the next page, and her hand went limp. The folder fell to the floor, its papers cascading around them.

Nathan picked up the papers, finally finding the one that Audrey had examined and subsequently dropped. His blue eyes scanned the text. And then he saw it. **Mother:** Lucy Ripley (deceased). **Father: ** Garland Wuornos.

And Nathan recognized the signature under his father's name as his father's own special variety of chicken scratch.


	3. Chapter 3

******Author's Note: **This is an extended version of chapter 32 from _Phoenix Rising_. The plot aspects probably won't make much sense without having read that story; however, the lovin' in here doesn't really require an understanding of the plot.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: "They Don't Make a Greeting Card for That"**

"You're not saying anything."

Audrey met Nathan's gaze and tried to keep her expression as impassive as possible, but internally, she quaked. "What do you want me to say?"

"Don't know. Maybe that I'm wrong, but I'll settle for the truth."

The truth.

That was what it all came back to: the painful truth that Nathan's mother died after a series of tragic events, all of which directly or indirectly tied to Lucy. If it weren't for Lucy, Holly may not have been hell-bent on taking Nathan and leaving Garland. If not for Lucy, Garland may have had a better handle on his Trouble that fateful day and the cracks may never have appeared. If Holly hadn't been upset with Lucy, perhaps Holly would have seen the crack in the road sooner, been able to avoid it without taking her car over the embankment. If not for Lucy draining the life from her, Holly might still be alive. Hallmark didn't make a _sorry I killed_ _your mom_ greeting card for painful truths like those.

"The truth is this is a conversation you should have with your father because once you and I do, there's no going back."

Nathan rested his hand at the nape of her neck. "Audrey, you do know that no matter what, I love you, right?"

She shrugged from his touch. "You say that now—"

"You think it's conditional?" Nathan's frustration was evident in his slightly raised voice.

"Look, the things I learned today…I want to be honest with you. Fully. I just don't know that these are my secrets to tell. Not entirely."

"So you and my dad are keeping things from me now? This is rich."

"Don't."

"Don't _what? _Be pissed off that you're doing to me what's been done to you? That you're keeping me in the dark, making me feel like I have absolutely no control of my life?"

She looked at him pointedly and pulled her cell phone from its holster. After entering a few digits, she lifted the device to her ear. "Hey. It's Audrey. Look, we're down here at Wapék Park, wrapping some things up. Nathan was hoping you could come over to his house for dinner tonight, say eight o'clock." Nathan shot her a warning look, but she ignored him. "Good. He'll see you then."

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Being pushy," she replied as though it were the most natural thing in the world. "You two are so pig-headed, how else are you going to work this out?"

"One night isn't going to fix us."

"No, but it's a start. It's what you both need, whether you realize it or not."

Nathan took a deep breath. This was the last way he wanted to spend his night, fighting with the old man. "You going to be there?"

She considered his question. "It's not a good idea."

"Why?"

"You two need to be able to speak freely. Not sure you can do that if I'm there."

"Parker."

"Wuornos," she echoed his use of surname. It came off sounding more harsh than she had intended. "Look, I'm going to take the evidence, get it submitted to the lab. I'll see if I can get a rush on it."

"Audrey, come on."

"Call me if anything else happens out here." Without another word, she reached into the Bronco and retrieved the evidence vial.

"Wait."

She stopped in her tracks. Nathan reached out and took her hand, pulling her close to him. His eyes met hers, a subtle plea within them. _Don't go. Not like this_. And she was his captive, not by demand but by choice. Her arms coiled around his waist, and she reveled at the feel of his tight muscles against her softer form. His hand cradled her face. "I'm in love with you," he whispered against her lips. "Nothing changes that."

The rawness of his emotions had Audrey biting back her own fears. "I'm going to destroy you."

"Only if you stop trusting me."

At his earnest expression, Audrey felt tears form in her eyes. Dammit. She hated crying, hated feeling vulnerable.

Nathan saw the emotions play across her features and wished he could imbue her with his love, make her believe that nothing that happened in the past would send him running for the hills. "Believe in me. Believe in us. Trust your partner." He wiped her tears with his thumbs before their mouths met in a slow exploration of texture and taste. He focused exclusively on her lips for a moment, worrying her bottom lip with his teeth before soothing her tender flesh. Audrey set the evidence jar on top of the Bronco before her hand came up to the back of his neck, her fingers toying with the hair at the nape. She could feel the shivers run through him; her touch did that to him, made him alternately content and longing for more. She could relate. Even now, despite the heaviness in her very soul, she ached for him, ached to join with him.

She wondered if he could sense her shift in mood because his kisses intensified. His hands roved her body, moving beneath her shirt until one of his thumbs found its way under her bra and stroked her nipple, hardening the sensitive skin into a peak. She gasped at the contact, reveled in it, even as he guided her against the Bronco, his body sheltering her and wanting her.

All the while, Nathan's mouth caressed hers, kissing her thoroughly, leaving her gulping for air until he finally left a trail of kisses from her jaw line to her ear. He knew where she wanted him to go, as he moved towards her earlobe instead, teasing her as she protested with a whimper. He just smiled against her skin there before turning his attention lower towards her collarbone, finding her sensitive hollow and tending to her sweet spot. He felt rather than heard her laugh softly.

"I thought we were going to be discreet."

"We did say that, didn't we?" Reluctantly, he slipped his hands from under her shirt and looked around, grateful that no one was in sight, particularly in light of the tenting of his pants.

"We made it a whole two hours."

"Toughest two hours ever," he replied with a hint of a smile. "You still coming over tonight?" He tenderly ran his fingers through the blonde strands that had fallen loose from the bun she wore.

She nodded. "After you've had time to talk with your dad."

"You should bring an overnight bag."

Audrey's heart quickened. He was still certain nothing could shake his feelings, and she hoped Nathan was right, but it was hard to believe in a happy ending for them. "An overnight bag? That's not keeping us on the down low."

Nathan groaned, remembering the agreement they had made in Ohio. His resolve was quickly waning. "I don't care who knows that we're together. I'm sure the chief has put it together. Brand, too."

At that, Audrey swallowed hard.

Ephraim. What were his secrets? Lucy knew—at least some of them—and was certain she could end the Troubles, though she never got the chance. She'd chosen to save Garland's little boy, and the choice was taken from her.

And the boy grew to a man, the man she—Audrey—loved.

It was so convoluted, almost maddening.

And Audrey desperately needed to keep him safe. Garland wasn't off base when he voiced concerns for Nathan's wellbeing. Ephraim Brand was the unknown variable in the equation.

"I need you to be safe."

"Then you shouldn't've fallen in love with a cop. What we do isn't safe, Parker."

"You know this isn't about your job. It's about my past."

"I was the little boy that Lucy saved. Your past, my past—they're intertwined."

"Nathan…"

"Can't go back. Can't bring my mom back, but I know Lucy wouldn't have done anything to intentionally harm her."

"You sound so certain."

"Because I know _you_."

* * *

After Audrey dropped off the lab sample to be transported to Bangor, she stopped by the chief's office.

"Come back for round two?" he asked, his back to her.

Audrey was impressed he knew it to be her. Maybe she was predicable, or maybe that was what made Garland Wuornos a good cop. "Feels as though it should be more like round five or six. I'm not here to fight with you. It's about the crack at Wapék Park; there was something peculiar about it."

He turned to look at her. "Explain."

"It was full of blood, or at least, what looks like blood." She wrinkled her nose. "And what smells like blood."

The chief scrubbed his face with his hand. "What the hell is going on here?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. Have you ever known of any other cracks to fill with blood?"

"No."

"Could you…?"

"With my magic blood hose?" the chief scoffed. "This wasn't me. So where is it coming from?"

"Can't say, though I certainly have a theory, and you're not going to like it."

"You don't say," he replied flatly. "Does it involve Brand's bleeding trees?"

"Yeah. The samples taken from the trees and the mountain lion that attacked Nathan showed that the blood was human."

"Think this was something you should have brought up?" Garland demanded.

"You told me to leave it alone."

"Can tell you listened," he replied wryly. "When did I lose control of the whole damn department? We seem to deal in wholesale secrets around here."

"About that. You need to be upfront with Nathan. He's pieced it together that he is the little boy who drowned thanks to a run in with Max Hansen."

Garland's eyes narrowed. The whole town would be better off if Hansen would just disappear. He'd tormented Nathan when he was a child. Garland was just grateful Nathan couldn't remember it, thanks to a little help from a friend. Now it seemed Hansen was back to blow up his life all over again. The twinge began, the burden intensifying. He took a deep breath to try to contain it. "What minefield are you sending me into? You trying to get me to take the whole damn town apart?"

"Listen, you've had so much pressure building for so long, I think that's what is causing these cracks. You've got to let it go. Just let it go."

"Easy for you to say."

"I am culpable in ruining Nathan's childhood, so, no, it isn't easy for me to say."

"Is he blaming you?" Garland asked.

His question gave her chills. "Not yet."

"He shouldn't. It wasn't your doing. If anyone's to blame, it's me. Holly and Lucy both are gone because of me."

Audrey studied the chief for a moment. "I don't remember what Lucy's last minutes were like, but I do know that she cared about you. She'd want you to stop blaming yourself for things you can't change. I think Holly would, too."

"With Nathan…I've not…I…" At times he could look at his son, feel pride that he must have done something right in his life. At other times, all he could feel was regret that he'd not been a better father, that his son barely tolerated him.

"Set things right with him. Stop antagonizing him. Stop pushing him away because of your guilt."

"You love him."

"Yeah, I do."

No hesitation. No excuses. Garland should be happy that Nathan had found someone kind, compassionate, beautiful.

But all he could feel was dread gnawing its way into his gut.

"You shouldn't love him," the older man replied bluntly. Audrey was about to protest when the chief held up his hands to calm her and added, "Not that he isn't a good man. He'll be a good husband someday. A good father. But your loving him puts him in danger and it's a distraction. At the end of all this, do you really see any scenario where you and he have a normal life?"

"At the end of this, I see him by my side."

The chief halfway snorted. "When I brought you into the department, it was because you were willing to see things for what they are. You've lost your touch."

* * *

The chief's words stung.

Perhaps they would have stung less if not for the element of truth they held.

Audrey headed to the bullpen to finagle a ride back to the Over the Way Bed and Breakfast when she caught sight of Julia Carr heading into the lounge carrying a flat pink box. Curious, Audrey followed her friend. When she entered the break room, she heard Julia muttering under her breath as she set the box on the round table in the center of the room.

"They say talking to yourself's the first sign of madness," Audrey quipped.

"Then I'd have been in the Freddie years ago," Julia replied when she heard her friend's voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here. What are you doing here?"

"M.E.'s office lost a bet. I got chosen to deliver the goods."

"Donuts from Rosemary's to the police station. How stereotypical."

"And oddly delicious. Well, the boys in blue do like their donuts." Julia eyed Audrey curiously. "I didn't expect you back so soon."

"I didn't expect to be back quite yet. When Nathan and I were in Ohio, we discovered some unfinished business here that couldn't wait."

"Sounds ominous."

"It was."

"So did you find some answers?"

"A few. And more questions."

"So why are you here with me instead of with Nathan?"

"He's having dinner with his dad tonight."

"Did you and he…?"

The door to the break room swung open. Stan smiled nervously when he saw the two women and immediately had the sense he had interrupted something. "I heard something about donuts..."

Julia stepped aside and gestured to the box. Stan quickly selected a chocolate-covered, custard-filled donut and vacated the room, though not before he amiably added, "I'll get out of your way."

"I was actually about to head home," Audrey said.

"Need a ride?" Julia asked.

"Could use one. How did you know?"

"I didn't see your car or Nathan's Bronco out there." Julia paused a beat before adding, "Hey. I'm a medical examiner. I notice things."

The two friends headed out. Once they were in the car and on their way, Julia broached the subject of Nathan again. "You never did say whether you and Nathan took things to the next level."

"I guess I didn't, did I?" Audrey hemmed. "But yeah, we did."

"And?" Julia prompted.

"And…," Audrey reddened slightly though she couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips, "I'm not really used to talking about things like that."

"At least tell me if it was good."

Audrey's mind drifted back to the feel of his lips on her skin, his body joined with hers. Yet it was more than the snatches of physical pleasure that had her suddenly feeling warm all over. It was finally finding where she belonged and knowing it was with him. "Good isn't a strong enough word."

Julia practically squealed. "I want details!"

"You're not getting them," Audrey replied bluntly.

Julia slowed as she came to a stop sign. "I don't need to know who put what where. I'm thinking more along the lines of how did it all come about?"

That, Audrey could deal with. "He got us rooms at a bed and breakfast in my hometown that I've always loved."

"Rooms? Plural?" Julia grimaced.

"My reaction, too. We ended up with only one room, but I can appreciate the fact that he was being a gentleman and not making assumptions."

"So…"

"One thing led to another and there you have it."

Julia scolded her friend. "We've got to work on your narrative skills."

"Things are complicated."

"But you and Nathan are solid, right?"

That was the question, wasn't it? Nathan thought so, but there were so many things he didn't know. Armed with new knowledge, would he still feel the same about her? Tonight would be the test of that.

When Audrey didn't reply, Julia shook her head. "Sex usually makes a relationship more solid, not less solid."

"Sex is definitely not the problem."

"Then what is?"

"My past. Ending the Troubles. Haven's future. The usual."

Julia pulled the car to a stop in front of the B&B. "I'm really starting to remember why I wanted to get away from here."

"It's not for the faint of heart."

"Listen, I have to get back to the office, but do you want to meet up later?" Julia asked.

"Sure. I told Nathan I would stop by his house later tonight, but his dad isn't showing up until 8:00, so…"

"Let's say 8:00ish at the Gull," the brunette suggested.

* * *

When Audrey unlocked her room at the B&B, she almost immediately flopped down on the bed. Her eyes went to the ceiling, and she found herself noticing the oddest things. A layer of dust on the rickety old ceiling fan, a tiny crack in a drywall seam of the ceiling…

It made her think of the blood-filled crack.

Blood.

Ephraim had said that Haven was in his blood, but she never thought he meant that literally. So what, if anything, did he have to do with the blood that kept creeping up in all the wrong places?

She turned and on the nightstand saw the book Ephraim had gifted her by proxy the first day she went to the Brand Estate. _The first day you went_ _back_, she silently corrected herself. The place had been Lucy's home.

She reached for it, her eyes taking in the inscription as she opened the front cover. _To my eternal love_. She had once loved Ephraim Brand. The knowledge felt so removed from her emotions. While she had initially found him intriguing, now the thought of him filled her with dread, proving there was, indeed, a shelf life on love, at least where Ephraim was concerned. All that remained was a cat and mouse game that, though it had once seemed amusing, now felt cold, sinister.

Audrey also wondered at his presence, carrying an apple the day of Holly and Nathan's accident. From what few memories of Lucy she had, she got the impression that was the last she saw of Ephraim before she changed, before Lucy ended and Audrey began.

She began to flip through the pages of the book, which mostly detailed the architecture of the house but also featured a few photographs of artwork. Amazing how so many of the pieces were tied to resurrection myths.

One photograph caught her eye, an exterior shot of the stone manor house. In an upper window, a woman stood staring out. She was easy to miss if not specifically looking for her, but Audrey noticed her right away, for it was her own face staring out. Lucy. She wondered what she had been thinking in that moment.

And Garland's words came back to her. _Your cage might be gilded, but it's still a cage._

The chief was right. Nathan would never have a normal life with her. At best, it was selfish to think otherwise. At worst, it was dangerous.

The ringing her of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. NATHAN showed on the screen. She pushed the answer button.

"Everything all right at the park?"

"_Yeah. The blood's receding. I actually just got home."_

"Oh. That's…that's good."

_He cleared his throat. "Thought you'd want to know."_

Awkwardness hung between them. "Thanks," she finally said. "Was there anything else?"

"_I know you're going through a lot, but we're going to be okay."_

"We'll talk later." She pressed the end button, flopped back against the pillows, and stared up at the ceiling again.

It seemed odd that they expected her to have the answers to their Troubles. She couldn't get her own act together, and here she was doling out advice to everyone else.

What advice would she give someone having her meltdown? _You've got to snap out of it. Stop living in fear. Fight for what you want._

And she wanted Nathan.

Wasn't it time to stop moping and start fighting?

* * *

Nathan set down his cell phone and went to remove a beer from the refrigerator. He wasn't sure why he bothered refrigerating the bottles; it wasn't as though he could perceive the temperature. There was something about seeing the condensation run down the side of the bottle, though, that made it taste better. Completely psychological, he realized.

When he opened the refrigerator, he saw the assortment of coffee creamers he'd purchased for Audrey's benefit.

Audrey.

Months ago, when he realized he could feel her, he had tried not to dwell on it for her sake and his—beyond his initial bewilderment and tests. She was his friend above all; his witty partner with the lusty laugh, a wicked sense of humor, and a beauty impossible to ignore, try as he might.

The last twenty-four hours had been heaven and hell.

Heaven. Being wrapped in her arms, feeling her lips, her fingertips, the most intimate parts of her enveloping him in warmth and pleasure. Waking with her in his arms. Seeing the adoration in her eyes. They were sexually compatible; he hadn't doubted they would be, for they seemed to fit together in every other way.

Hell. The past. It nipped at their heels, took hold, and shook its head with ferocity. The doubts Audrey had were far more frightening than anything else they'd faced together, more so than pyrokinetic teenagers, bleeding trees, cracks, murderous shadows, or chameleons. Troubles, he could fight. Doubt—that was something she would have to fight on her own.

He ambled to the living room, beer in hand. The place seemed empty without her, too quiet. A few days earlier, they had been curled up on the sofa, the tension between them palpable, but he never thought anything would come from it. He'd gone out of his way to not cross lines with her, to not make her uncomfortable. Now he'd give just about anything to have those moments back, to take a chance, to have those extra days with her before everything got so damn complicated.

He would never regret loving Audrey.

The sound of the doorbell jarred him from his thoughts. He set his beer on a coaster and went to the front door. He moved aside the curtain to peer outside before opening it.

Audrey.

He opened the door and tried to rein in the thrill that ran through him. "You're here," he said, looking into her eyes, trying to read her intentions.

"You should invite me in." Her tone was flirtatious, glib. Gone were the doubts that seemed to plague her earlier. He wasn't sure what had changed, but either way, he would take it.

He stepped aside, and she walked in before he closed the door behind her. "About that." Nathan dug a key out of his pocket, took her hand, and pressed it into her palm.

"What's this for?"

"Key to my house."

"Nathan…"

Was it too soon? It didn't feel too soon, not after everything they'd shared as partners, as friends, and now lovers. "For convenience."

She quirked an eyebrow. "How _practical_ of you."

He half-smiled, half-grimaced. "I'm doing this all wrong."

She took the key and put it on her key ring before touching his face. "I love that you aren't smooth."

The warmth of her hand and the softness of her skin, had his face alight. He leaned into her touch and kissed her palm, sending shivers of delight through her. "It's only 5:45," he said huskily.

"Need help cooking dinner?"

"Eight o'clock won't be here for awhile. I was hoping you could help me with something else."

"What's in it for me?" she asked, a saucy grin playing across her lips. The look alone was almost enough to make him come undone.

He smiled. "I have a few ideas," he said, but the last word barely made it out before his lips found hers. He'd been starving for her all day, and he fully intended to feast. The kiss quickly deepened as their tongues sought one another, the pleasure of discovery building between them, as did their yearning. Wordlessly, her hands came up and ran through his hair, her fingers lightly scraping his scalp. He moaned at her teasing touches.

He wrapped his arms around her body fully, as he backed her up towards the door. They crashed into it, shaking the curtained window in the process. That elicited a chuckle from her, as she buried her face in his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin, breathing in his scent. Hands against his chest, she pushed him back playfully.

He looked at her questioningly until her hands moved down his arms to capture his hands in hers. Gently, she pulled him toward his bedroom.

"I have a few ideas, too," she said as she rounded the corner into his room.

"Intelligence is so sexy." With that, he pulled her tight against himself and let his hands explore her body. Hands under her shirt, he trailed the small of her back, marveling at the smoothness, the softness, before going lower to cup his hands over her jean-clad bottom. He gave her a small squeeze and then lifted her to sit on his dresser, equalizing their heights. And their lips met again, the sound of their greedy kisses filling the air around them.

Between their bodies, her hands eagerly worked the buttons of his shirt until she pushed it over his shoulders and he shrugged it off the rest of the way. She traveled the planes of his chest and abdomen, lightly grazing his skin with her knuckle and taking pleasure in his responsiveness. His muscles twitched as she stroked him, tantalized him in a sweet, sweet torment.

Moving her hands lower, she unfastened his belt. His eyes glanced down to her hands, and he could see the bulge in his pants that she was working to free. This was going to happen again; the thought nearly felled him. She could have any man, and she wanted him. Before he knew it, she had worked his jeans down his legs. He used one foot and then the other to slide off his shoes, kicking them aside, then stepping out of the pile of denim on the floor.

Her legs encircled his waist; the warmth of her thighs against his sides had him sucking in breaths in gulps. Still, she continued her enticements, pulling him closer with her lean-muscled legs as his hands ran down her arms.

Her hands left their exploration of his sculpted torso briefly, as she pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it away. He pulled back for a moment to admire her and couldn't help the lusty grin that formed on his lips. She wore a red lace bra, something he'd never imagined her wearing considering her general preference for neutral or muted colors, but it suited her, the contrast of the rich color against her porcelain skin. Audrey wasn't the sort to draw attention to herself; this, he realized, was for him and him only.

Noting his amorous gaze, she tilted her head playfully. "You like?"

"Very much," he choked out.

She pulled her hair loose from its bun, sending her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders in waves. She ran her fingers through the strands, revealing more of the creamy skin on the column of her neck. He audibly drew in a breath. "You're so beautiful," he mumbled as he stepped forward again to kiss her lips. His attention was diverted, however, to her graceful lines. He trailed kisses, lingering at the spot where her neck and shoulder met, the hollow where he could feel her pulse point. Her answering sigh of bliss made him smile against her skin before he continued toward his goal of lavishing her with kisses.

"Oh, Nathan," she breathed heavily. He stopped and looked up to meet her eyes. They were dark with want and intent as she reached behind her back, released the clasp of her bra, and the material slipped forward. He ran his fingers under each strap, sliding them down her slender arms, and pulling the material away from her body.

His mouth descended almost immediately, latching on to one breast, the other supported by his hand, his thumb brushing over her neglected nipple. He released her for a moment, blowing a breath of cool air out. She inhaled sharply at the sensation and he repeated it quickly on her other breast.

Moving down from her breasts, he trailed his mouth slowly down the center of her flat abdomen, pausing to swirl his tongue around her belly button. Her muscles twitched at the contact. He looked up to see her staring down at him, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes stormy.

Her hands came up to unbutton her jeans, and she waited for him to make the next move. Nathan needed no further encouragement, as he reached to unzip her pants. Red fabric peeked through the denim. She pushed up onto her hands and he slipped the denim off her hips and down her legs. Tossing her jeans aside, he stood and pressed a kiss to her lips and then looked down between them to see matching red lace panties, the final barrier between them.

He kissed her again, his tongue twirling with hers, before whispering against her lips, "Wrap your legs around me." His hands slid underneath her and lifted her off the dresser. Her heart pounded in anticipation and exhilaration as he carried her quickly to the bed and laid her down, hovering above her, bracing himself on his elbows. His eyes locked on hers as she lifted her body to make more contact with his. He hissed as she tightened her legs around his waist, the feel of her smooth thighs intoxicating as ever. Suddenly, he found himself on his back, staring up at her in surprise. She smiled down at him wickedly, her hands finding themselves snaking under the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

She ground herself down upon him, moaning as the only thing separating them were her panties and his boxer-briefs, which had become much tighter over the last few minutes.

Nathan threw his head back, basking in the contact between them. "Audrey," he halfway gasped as she rocked against him and watched in satisfaction as the pleasure played across his features. His thumbs stroked her hipbones and he held her firmly in place, savoring the friction between their bodies.

Audrey leaned down and kissed him then, a soft caress that belied the intimate contact of their lower bodies. Close but not close enough. He needed to join with her; needed to make her feel some semblance of the bliss she gave him.

He rolled them over, exploring her with his calloused hands, moving over her breasts and then over her stomach ever-so-lightly, until finally tracing over the laced edge of the panties and moving down lower between her legs, the material already damp with her want.

Their eyes met, his seeking permission and hers granting it. She would have promised him anything in that moment.

He hooked his thumbs into the sides of the frilly fabric and slowly pulled the swath down her legs. Then, beginning at her ankle, he placed soft kisses up her leg, to her calf, behind her knee, to the inside of her thigh, which quivered at the contact as he lingered. Suddenly her hand was in his hair, pulling him closer to her. He glanced up, and Nathan was certain he had never seen anything so arousing as the sight before him. Her head was thrown back, anticipating his next move, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her small breasts rising with each breath she took, and her porcelain skin, flushed. Finally, he descended, his mouth tracing over her carefully, then with more certainty. All the while, she began to make the sexiest sounds he ever heard from the back of her throat. With each stroke of his tongue, her pitch increased until, as he felt her thighs shaking involuntarily, she cried out and then gasped, "Nathan!" He lifted his head, watching her ride out the waves of pleasure before he stood and stripped off the last barrier between them, his boxer-briefs.

He saw her eyes open, languid now, as she took him in fully. She smiled and beckoned him toward her with a finger. He needed little encouragement as he moved towards her, bracing a knee against the bed. She reached down between their bodies, touching him with confidence. He kissed her, trying to communicate to her just how he felt in this moment.

He took her hand in his and they came together, slowly. Nathan felt the lush heat surround him as he moved within her. Their bodies surged together, her legs locking around his waist as she arched her hips to meet each of his powerful strokes. She raked her nails down his back from the bottom of his neck to his tailbone, causing him to rear up as pleasure mixed with a delicious pain. On and on their dance continued, bliss building and building. As he approached his peak, he dropped down to his elbows, her breasts flattened by his chest. He felt her tense beneath him, and then her body clench around him as she called his name again. He let go, shuddering through his own release before kissing her tenderly and brushing an errant lock of blond hair from her forehead.

"You are going to be the death of me." A sheen of sweat clung to their skin, even as they still clung to each other.

"But what a way to go," she whispered before nipping at his lower lip. "I think I could do this over and over and over."

"I know I could. For the rest of my life."

That was what she wanted, too, but she couldn't give voice to it.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

Audrey pushed away the shadows of doubt that invaded her mind. Nathan was the man she—_Audrey_—chose. "I just had mind-blowing sex with the man I love. I'm good. I'm more than good. I'm…happy." She shifted and could feel the evidence of their lovemaking begin to leak from her, sticky and warm.

"Don't think I'll get tired of hearing that."

He nestled against her, holding her, stroking her hair. Before long, exhaustion overtook her, and she fell asleep. Sometime later, she awoke with a start. The room was dark; Nathan's breathing was measured. Her eyes sought the alarm clock. 7:34.

"Nathan."

"Mmmm." He stirred against her.

"We fell asleep. Your dad will be here in less than thirty minutes and you need to shower and there's no food made."

"You need a shower worse than I do," he pointed out as his fingers lightly traced her inner thighs, finding the slickness on her legs from their earlier lovemaking.

She drew in a breath at his touches and turned to face him. "All I want to do is stay right here with you."

His lips brushed against hers, and then he whispered, "You'll be back later."

"Yeah."

"With an overnight bag," he declared with a small smile.

He was nothing if not persistent. Persistent—and correct.

"It's already in the car."


End file.
